I went to see my therapist on Wednesday. I was dreading going all day long. I had a homework assignment to write about something that is very hard for me to express and then read it to her that day. I was able to do it somehow, but I did have a panic attack right in front of her.
Yesterday and today I have been very depressed. I ate a bit on Thursday morning, but haven’t ate since then. I was working from home yesterday, and called off of work today. I was laying bed since 4PM on Thursday and didn’t get up until 3PM today. I talked to someone online at National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and that helped a lot. I just got out of the shower and I’m going to get out of the house and go watch a movie.
Feeling like this is just part of the healing process, they say. I hope I can shake this off and be a functioning person again.
I love to watch Ted Talks on Youtube. I found the above clip a few months ago. Dr. Stephen Ilardi gives a presentation about how modern civilization is making us more depressed; that our bodies are not designed to psychologically function beyond that of a hunter and gathering culture. As a former student of anthropology and someone that suffers from depression, I found the lecture to be very interesting.
The thought that we, as a species, were better off is not something that is new in the field of anthropology. I can recall debating this in an archaeology class when I was in graduate school. Yet, I never heard this applied in any field outside of anthropology.