May 202014

I haven’t written anything on here in a while. I wanted to blog something a few weeks ago, but I never got around to doing it. I have things that I would like to say, but it is difficult for me to do. I can’t really put a finger on why I can’t just express myself. Is it a fear of rejection? Or is it something else?

I was watching this documentary last night called Terms And Conditions May Apply. It is about privacy (or lack thereof) of information you share on the internet. Everything that you post and buy can be retrieved and analyzed, even if you deleted your history. This information is used by corporations and the government to track your behavior. It is pretty scary to know that you can be tracked down so easily.

Apr 232014

The New York Times reported yesterday that America no longer have the richest middle class in the world. That honor now belongs to Canada. It is pretty sad to watch the one percent take over the government over the past thirty-five years and destroy the middle class. It is a shame that Obama hasn’t done anything about it either. We really need to reform our system here in America and get back on track.

Mar 182014

Today marks the third week of being on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I do feel much better since I first started taking estrogen. I’m not as depressed as I was just four or five weeks ago. Yet, the social anxiety is still there, especially in large social situations. I have been opening up in therapy these past few weeks like I have never done before.

There are some physical differences for me as well. My nipples are now more sensitive then they have ever been. I can feel my shirt rubbing them when I move which causes them to get erect. I have been wearing a sports bra to keep a barrier between my nipples and my shirt. My facial hair is still growing but very slowly and my body hair is getting softer and finer. I’m no where near to actually looking like a female.

Feb 112014

My last post was a little over a week ago. In that post I mentioned that I will be having a major life change. Two weeks from today I will be undergoing hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) to begin my transition from a male to a female. I don’t know what could be more of a major life change!

My therapist faxed a referral to my primary care physician about two weeks ago. She also called to confirm that the fax was received. Yet, when I got there my doctor didn’t know anything about it. There are only two people on the staff plus my doctor. I can’t shake the feeling that maybe the referral intentionally didn’t get to her. My doctor wanted to talk to my therapist about this, so I signed a release of information. So far, my therapist and my doctor have not been communicating.

I turned to Howard Brown Health Center, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clinic in Chicago. I set up an appointment with them for next week. A week from today. I’ll get some blood work done with them at that time to check my hormone levels. Then a week after that I will be given information and my hormones. There isn’t a therapist consent needed. Instead they operate on an Informed Consent practice.

So, two weeks from today a new journey will begin for me. I actually have an appointment for consultation with laser hair removal tomorrow as well. It’ll cost me a bit to get rid of all of my body hair, I’m sure. Not to mention the clothes shopping I’ll need to do on top of the cost of the hormones themselves.

I am both excited and nervous to begin this new phase in life.

Feb 032014

I haven’t posted anything in here in a very long time. I thought I would post and let the blog world know I’m still alive.

I joined Red Light Center a little over a month ago. I put a link to the game/social site in the side bar to the right at the bottom. It is an adult MMO community. It gives me a great outlet to communicate with other adults without my social anxiety kicking in.

I’m still in therapy and this month will mark my fifth month seeing her. A few weeks ago I was talking about a topic that I’ve never really shared before. Sharing it has caused me a lot of trauma, which caused me to stop eating and sleeping and starting to consume alcohol. I’m trying hard to turn that around to more positive actions. A major life event might be on the horizon for me this month.

I know this is short and cryptic (which is how I am most of the time), but I promise to post more later.

Jan 102014

I posted the below blog entry on Feministing almost three years ago. I thought I would post the blurb here as well.

I am a gay male feminist. It really irritates me when I’m around other gay men that tell sexist jokes or just make sexist comments. Just because I am sexual attracted towards other men and not a woman myself does not mean that women’s rights do not matter to me.

When I was in college I wanted to do LGBT studies. Yet, the college I went to didn’t have an institutionalized LGBT program at that time. Yet, there was a gender and sexuality program that I took classes in. Most of the people attended these classes were feminist identified women. I became friends with a few of them and began to learn that gay rights and women’s rights were very similar. Women and homosexuals are both very socially heterogeneous.

At college I was the president of the LGBT student organization and it wasn’t surprising to me that our biggest ally supporters came from the feminist student organization. In fact, some of the lesbians were members of both clubs. In fact, the faculty advisor for the LGBT organization was also the advisor for the feminist organization.

I am over ten years from my graduate work and college life, but still to this day I remain a gay male feminist due to my exposure to feminism during college. I believe that being a feminist is supporting the rights of all.

Dec 232013


I have been nominated for the Liebster Award by my follower Deb. I’ve seen other people with this award, but I never thought I would actually have someone tag me with one! Heck, I didn’t even think anyone would read and/or comment on my blog posts. I don’t think my life is all that exciting for someone to have any interest reading about it.

Thank you Deb for nominating me. If you don’t know about her, you should take a look at her blog. Her prose is beautiful and she also has some very cute photos on her blog.

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