Katherine Walter dot Com

A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Sexuality and Live Jasmin

I’ve never been very secretive about my sexuality and sexual orientation. I use to be part of round table discussions about my sexuality and sexual orientation when I was part of Prism at Northern Illinois University a long time ago. This was all before I started to transition. Back then I called myself bisexual, I had feelings for both men and women. Then I just used the term homosexual since I had a strong preference for men. Then I used the phrase homofelezible, which seemed to fit me the best. I’m bisexual with more of an attraction towards men. After I began to realize that I am a woman and not a man, I started to call myself heteroflexible since I’m a woman attracted towards men. I usually just tell people I’m heterosexual because it is easier for people to understand over bisexual. It always seems like my heterosexual friends think I’m gay and my homosexual friends to think I’m straight. Of course since I transitioned it is the other way around. If I would be honest with myself and with others I would have to say I’m bisexual, with a two on the Kinsey scale.

I never wanted to be in a relationship before. I guess because I’ve always known that I am a woman and I didn’t want to have to reveal this to a partner. I think it is always best to be truth with your romantic partners. When I wanted to be sexually active with someone most of the time I went to Steamworks. After I transitioned I stopped going there and went to the TgirlNightCLUB. I have only been there a few times and not any longer thanks to COVID-19. I use to be one of the few, if not the only, transsexual there. The men use to swarm around me when I went there.

I have been going to Live Jasmin to chat with some of the ladies on there. I usually don’t ask for them to do anything sexual since non-contact sexuality doesn’t do anything to me. Even watching porn doesn’t do anything for me like it use to before I transitioned. I especially like to talk to Diana Dagorall and Alis Evanss. Like I said, I just mainly chat with them. It can be an expensive habit if you don’t watch yourself. It ate through my back pay that I got. Although paying off my trustee also took a lot of that money. The site isn’t too bad towards their members. About every fifteen hours or so you can spin a wheel and possibly get up to 100% more credits for the tier you are buying at. I never did land on 100% but I once did get a 90%. Most of the time it lands somewhere between 45% to 55%. I think it has a terrible pay out system for the ones providing the services. They only make 30% to 60% of what they are charging. The rest goes to Live Jasmin. I personally would like to see the models get a larger cut than what they are giving them. They do take a little cut from the member side as well, but it is nowhere near as bad as what they do to the models.

I like to go into VIP shows. This is where the model will do a little show for five or six minutes with a charge to each member (usually about two credits) to reach a goal to start the show. I like them because I just love to watch what the guys have to say during the show. They say the usual stuff you would think they would say. Even in the public chat room the guys can be kind of creepy. I usually like to tell the model that I’m a cisgender woman. I just want to be thought of a woman and not just a transgender. Yet, there have been a few that I have told that I’m a transgender woman. I never had any problems. I guess they’re not going to turn away a paying member.

I think Live Jasmin is worth a shot to look at. If you want to be a model I’m not so sure, since I don’t see that side of things. Models can see more information about their side of the camera here. Like I said, I don’t get anything sexual out of it since I’m more attracted to guys. They do have a gay guy side to the site, along with a section for transgender women. Being a webcam girl wouldn’t be the life for me. For one thing I have gender dysphoria and don’t like how my body looks. I would do it if the money was better and worth my time. There are many beautiful ladies on the site. Which only causes my gender dysphoria to be greater, but it is nice when they say I’m good looking. Most of the time I don’t believe them and are just saying that to be nice.

Living Through the Coronavirus

A lot of shit has been happening since the last time I posted on here. First off, happy Mothers’ Day to all the mothers out there. I sent my mother a gift card to Amazon. It was done digitally, but she hasn’t picked it up yet. They have limited access to the internet. She’ll get it sooner or later.

March 17th marked my fiftieth birthday. This milestone still blows my mind. Frankly, I never expected to live this long. Yet, now that I’m at that age, it doesn’t seem like I’m as old as I thought I was going to be.

February marked the sixth year that I went on HRT. I still have no regrets about it. If  I had to say one thing about it, I wish I started sooner in my life. Yet, I know that if I came out when I was fifteen that my parents’ wouldn’t understand or support me. At least, that is what I thought at that point in my life. Then when I was out on my own, I didn’t want to do it because I thought that I would never be able to find a job. Actually, that still haunts me since I lost my job with the Federal Government.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. The elephant in the room is the coronavirus going around. I think it is crazy. I never thought that I’d live to see a pandemic such as this one. I’ve been in quarantine for about a week after my birthday. I have been out to get my car fixed, but for the most part I haven’t been out at all.  Thanks to my agoraphobia it hasn’t been affecting my mental health at all. Of course, it isn’t helping matters either. I’ve been seeing my therapist virtually. It is cam-to-cam so we can see each other.

The Trump administration isn’t helping us out either. He said some pretty dumb stuff early on and currently. First he thought it was a hoax made up by the Democratic Party. Then he said we are nearly zero. Then it was a good job if it just killed off two hundred thousand people. Not too long ago he thought it made no sense to test for the virus since one day you can have it and then the next day you do have it. Don’t even get me started on him saying that injecting or digesting disinfectants can cure you of the virus. I wish he would just step down and let the scientists take over.

Joe Biden wasn’t my first pick for the front runner for the Democratic Party’s bid for the Presidency. I was behind Kamala Harris before she dropped out. She’s done a lot for the LGBT community during her time as Attorney General of California. Sure there was that one time she ruled in favor of transgender women inmates being in men’s facilities, but I think she answered the question well when she was at the HRC debates. I do think she wasn’t the most liberal candidate on the ticket. I think she just sways with the times. Many politicians included Obama were more centralist in their viewpoints. Yet, I am backing Joe Biden for 2020.

Retirement Came Through

My retirement payment came through last week along with about eleven months worth of back pay. It is nice not to have to worry about money any longer. My regular retirement should be kicking in for the first of each month.

I’m going to be using some of it to resurrect my Pink Fae Gaming site. I couldn’t get my old url so I got a different one pinkfae.org. I’m going to hire a lawyer this time to try to make it into a non-profit once I get the old website migrated to the new website. It is taking a lot more work than I anticipated, so it is coming along very slowly.

I also donated some money to Tazkabaz so that she can get a new computer and maybe start streaming again. She already ordered her new PC and it should be coming in the mail for her sometime this week. I’m excited for her. It is almost like I bought a PC for myself.

Best of Clips for Tazkabaz

Tazkabaz made a best of clips from her Twitch videos that she shared with everyone today. She is currently on hiatus with no idea if and when she is coming back. She posted on Discord about her future with Twitch.

It is with a heavy heart that I say that Aaron and I have broken up. There will be no more streams for the foreseeable future and I will no longer be able to play sims or on the minecraft server so will stop payments before the server renews this month. Thank you all for your kindness and generosity over my time on Twitch. I ask that you please respect both of our privacy at this time.

Tazkabaz, Wednesday February 5, 2020

It has been an honor to be her moderator for the past year or so. We had a lot of fun together. The community of regular viewers were always a joy to chat and be with. I’m hopeful she will come back sometime in the future. Yet, if not, I won’t forget the joy that she gave me in my life when I was feeling down. Best of luck, Tazkabaz, where ever life might take you.

Unexpected Money

I received a deposit into my account from the Federal Government. It appears that it was from my TSP (Thrift Savings Plan, similar to a 401k). I’m not sure exactly what it was for, but I’m not going to complain about it. It is enough to cover for two months of expenses, but not enough to pay back my parents.

I also got some information about the processing of my retirement in the mail. They had me sign a form I forgot to sign. Although, they did inform me about this about a month ago. I completed and sent it in then. I’m hoping they get it this time. I usually send mail to them certified, but I didn’t have money for it at the time.

I also got news that the premiums on my health insurance that I have been pay for the past year now will be reimbursed. That’s some good news. Especially since I need the health insurance for my medical condition.

I’m one to always hand out to those in need when I’m doing well off. Helping others is part of the reason why I got into working with SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). It is good to know that the karma that I have been building up is finally coming back to me in my time of need.

Here’s hoping that my retirement income kicks in before this money is also depleted.

Stuck in Financial Hell, Please Help

I’m really stuck in a bad place in a bad place right now. I already received money from my parents and they can’t help me out any longer. I couldn’t get any money out of my 401k and I couldn’t get a personal loan. I need $6000-$9000 to cover expenses (mortgage, insurance premiums, food, utilities) until my disability retirement kicks in three months from now. Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated, even a retweet or a share. You can find my paypal here.

Joining Starbase 118

Many moons ago I was part of a Star Trek play-by email (PBEM) game called UFOP: Starbase 118. If I recall I was playing a Human from the Philippines. I left it because of personal reasons. I forgot about it over time. I rediscovered it after reading a forum post about PBEM over on Board Game Geek. I thought it would be fun to play it again. Especially since I had a lot of time on my hands.

This time I made a unjoined Trill named Tara Wilkins. I have a bit of her history in my head. Right now I’m in training. I’ll get access to their wiki once I complete training and become an ensign. I’m hoping training goes smoothly and that I get my character assigned to a ship. I think the game will also hone my reading and writing skills a bit more.

Star Trek: Picard – “Remembrance”

The first episode of Star Trek: Picard, “Remembrance” came out today and I just got done watching it. I was hoping it wouldn’t be a show that would fit more into the Kelvin timeline than in the prime timeline. Based on the trailer that I have been watching in preparation for the series, I thought it might be all action and no humanitarian story line as the original Star Trek and the following Star Trek television series have been like. I have to say that I was delighted to enjoy the episode and had a better first impression with it over the impression I had with Star Trek: Discovery.

Warning: spoilers are ahead. There was some action in the episode, but it wasn’t central to the plot. We had a sneak peak of Data in Picard’s dreams. He was probably dreaming about him so much because of the synthetics (as androids are called) for some reason revolted on Mars. We are not explained why it happened, but we do know that Picard has deep feelings for the synthetics because of his admiration for Data. The Federation put a ban on synthetics after the incident. This caused Admiral Picard to retire from Starfleet.

The plot reminded me of the Star Trek: The Next Generation second season episode “The Measure of a Man“. In the episode Picard had to argue to Starfleet that Data was in fact a living sentient being. It appeared to me that he also held this belief for synthetics from that point to the point of this episode. In fact the line is so blurred that Dahj is a synthetic made of flesh and blood. I was also wondering if it would blur the line between a clone and a human being.

I’m eagerly awaiting for the next episode next week.

Meet MomGamesHard

Introducing MomGamesHard

I was first introduced to MomGamesHard when Tazkabaz raided her about ten months ago. I subscribed and supported her channel right away. She has a personality that keeps you glued to the screen. You can see what I mean by watching the video above.

She was playing The Sims 4 as a story telling game play. Yet, she also ventured off and played American/European Truck Simulator (ATS/ETS). She is a variety streamer, and has dabbed in a lot of different games. She seems to get really hooked on one game for a week or two, but always ends up going back to The Sims 4 and ATS/ETS as her staple games. Her streams start at 8AM Central Standard Time Monday through Friday. Usually she plays for a good four hours.

I am usually up at 7AM and grab some breakfast and a cup of tea before seeing her stream. She usually has a warm cup of coffee that she sips on throughout the stream. Her eyebrows are always perfectly shaped, as she has a thing for always getting them waxed. In fact her bitty money goes towards her eyebrow waxing fund.

Take a look at her when she goes on over at twitch.tv/momgameshard. You won’t be disappointed.

Tazkabaz Has a Hype Train

Yesterday we were telling Tazkabaz about a Hype Train that they now have on Twitch. She had no idea what that is, so we had to show her. It began with three people donating bits within five minutes of each other. That started the train to start moving. Very soon other people started to get involved in hyping up the chat. After all was said and done, we reached level five.

It was great to see Tazkabaz’s reaction to the bits and subscriptions coming in. She was clearly overwhelmed from it all. You can watch the event unfold by watching the 18 minute video above.

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