A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Category: health

Thinking of Getting Back Into Cycling

A woman cyclist taking a break.

Last month Paulina Cossio had a stream where she was showing some of the workout moves that she does. You can see the full video below. This stream really got me wanting to get back to working out. I use to workout frequently. It wasn’t too long ago before COVID hit us that I was going to Planet Fitness. I even had a trainer at one point of time. Getting back into it might be good for both my physical and mental health. What I use to love to do for physical activity that I haven’t done in a very long time was cycling.

I started picking up cycling seriously when I left the military. I found a used blue Ross Signature for sale. I think I paid $100 for it back in 1992 or 1993. I just changed out the seats and tuned it up myself. It worked just fine for general fitness. It wasn’t a good racing bike and was a little rough when I rode it for extended periods of times. Yet for the money that I spent on it, it was well worth it.

Yet, the bike is a bit out of date. I think if I want to get back into cycling I would want a new bike. I looked around at different cycling websites for a good inexpensive bike. I stumbled on the Eurobike XC550 on Amazon. It got some pretty decent reviews on Amazon and other sites. At $380 it is not going to be a racing bike at all, but it looked good for general exercise.

I couldn’t find my old bike rack, so I would have to get one of those if I wanted to travel somewhere to go cycling. I found this on Amazon. It is better than the one I use to have. I also don’t think I would have to use it right away.

Of course, I’ll need some clothing. I most have thrown out the cycling clothes I had when I purged a lot of my clothes years ago. I picked out some items that I would like to get, but I’m still looking around for good clothing at a reasonable price.

I also would like to get some accessories. I like to have a computer to keep track of my speed and distance. I found a wireless one manufactured by Cat Eye on Amazon. My old one was wired, it’d be nice to have one that is wired. I also want to get a mount on my bike for my iPhone. It would be good to use Google Maps to see where I am going. I found a mount by Roam on Amazon. It was very inexpensive.

I haven’t purchased anything yet, but I think the first thing I would purchase would be the bike itself. With my limited income I probably won’t have the funds to get it until next summer. I might even not be as hyped about cycling come a year from now.

There are a number of great trails to ride in Illinois. There is one trail that is about a mile or two from me that I could get on that connects to all of the trails in Illinois. When I lived with my parents in my early twenties, I once rode from their house to Lake Michigan and back. They live west of me and there isn’t a trail in their proximity. I had to take some back roads to get on one of the trails. It’d be nice to try to do that again. I just wonder if my old body can manage to do it, even after I trained myself.

My Mental Health

I suffer from some mental health issues. I had suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. Yet, it has gotten worse especially since I transitioned.

I went to see a therapist for my social anxiety. I use to ballroom dance and I was so anxious when I would preform in front of people. I never experienced a problem like this, but I gradually learned it was because I identify as a woman. Ballroom dancing is very gender specific and I knew there was something wrong with doing the steps and movement that were for men. I began Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) on February 2014 to have the physical appearance of being a woman.

I was feeling better once I started but I began to get very anxious of being clocked (viewed as being my wrong gender or of being transgender). I began to develop agoraphobia. I didn’t want to leave the house and run into people. I didn’t have a fear of leaving the house, but rather being around people, mainly because of my gender dysphoria.

I will talk more about my mental health in this blog. I’m currently in therapy now and I loss my job chiefly because of my mental health. I’m still unemployed but I hopeful that I will be getting disability retirement soon. I already got approved for being disabled, but I have not received any payment yet.

Major Life Change: Two Weeks Away

My last post was a little over a week ago. In that post I mentioned that I will be having a major life change. Two weeks from today I will be undergoing hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) to begin my transition from a male to a female. I don’t know what could be more of a major life change!

My therapist faxed a referral to my primary care physician about two weeks ago. She also called to confirm that the fax was received. Yet, when I got there my doctor didn’t know anything about it. There are only two people on the staff plus my doctor. I can’t shake the feeling that maybe the referral intentionally didn’t get to her. My doctor wanted to talk to my therapist about this, so I signed a release of information. So far, my therapist and my doctor have not been communicating.

I turned to Howard Brown Health Center, a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clinic in Chicago. I set up an appointment with them for next week. A week from today. I’ll get some blood work done with them at that time to check my hormone levels. Then a week after that I will be given information and my hormones. There isn’t a therapist consent needed. Instead they operate on an Informed Consent practice.

So, two weeks from today a new journey will begin for me. I actually have an appointment for consultation with laser hair removal tomorrow as well. It’ll cost me a bit to get rid of all of my body hair, I’m sure. Not to mention the clothes shopping I’ll need to do on top of the cost of the hormones themselves.

I am both excited and nervous to begin this new phase in life.

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