A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Category: personal

Sexuality and Live Jasmin

I’ve never been very secretive about my sexuality and sexual orientation. I use to be part of round table discussions about my sexuality and sexual orientation when I was part of Prism at Northern Illinois University a long time ago. This was all before I started to transition. Back then I called myself bisexual, I had feelings for both men and women. Then I just used the term homosexual since I had a strong preference for men. Then I used the phrase homofelezible, which seemed to fit me the best. I’m bisexual with more of an attraction towards men. After I began to realize that I am a woman and not a man, I started to call myself heteroflexible since I’m a woman attracted towards men. I usually just tell people I’m heterosexual because it is easier for people to understand over bisexual. It always seems like my heterosexual friends think I’m gay and my homosexual friends to think I’m straight. Of course since I transitioned it is the other way around. If I would be honest with myself and with others I would have to say I’m bisexual, with a two on the Kinsey scale.

I never wanted to be in a relationship before. I guess because I’ve always known that I am a woman and I didn’t want to have to reveal this to a partner. I think it is always best to be truth with your romantic partners. When I wanted to be sexually active with someone most of the time I went to Steamworks. After I transitioned I stopped going there and went to the TgirlNightCLUB. I have only been there a few times and not any longer thanks to COVID-19. I use to be one of the few, if not the only, transsexual there. The men use to swarm around me when I went there.

I have been going to Live Jasmin to chat with some of the ladies on there. I usually don’t ask for them to do anything sexual since non-contact sexuality doesn’t do anything to me. Even watching porn doesn’t do anything for me like it use to before I transitioned. I especially like to talk to Diana Dagorall and Alis Evanss. Like I said, I just mainly chat with them. It can be an expensive habit if you don’t watch yourself. It ate through my back pay that I got. Although paying off my trustee also took a lot of that money. The site isn’t too bad towards their members. About every fifteen hours or so you can spin a wheel and possibly get up to 100% more credits for the tier you are buying at. I never did land on 100% but I once did get a 90%. Most of the time it lands somewhere between 45% to 55%. I think it has a terrible pay out system for the ones providing the services. They only make 30% to 60% of what they are charging. The rest goes to Live Jasmin. I personally would like to see the models get a larger cut than what they are giving them. They do take a little cut from the member side as well, but it is nowhere near as bad as what they do to the models.

I like to go into VIP shows. This is where the model will do a little show for five or six minutes with a charge to each member (usually about two credits) to reach a goal to start the show. I like them because I just love to watch what the guys have to say during the show. They say the usual stuff you would think they would say. Even in the public chat room the guys can be kind of creepy. I usually like to tell the model that I’m a cisgender woman. I just want to be thought of a woman and not just a transgender. Yet, there have been a few that I have told that I’m a transgender woman. I never had any problems. I guess they’re not going to turn away a paying member.

I think Live Jasmin is worth a shot to look at. If you want to be a model I’m not so sure, since I don’t see that side of things. Models can see more information about their side of the camera here. Like I said, I don’t get anything sexual out of it since I’m more attracted to guys. They do have a gay guy side to the site, along with a section for transgender women. Being a webcam girl wouldn’t be the life for me. For one thing I have gender dysphoria and don’t like how my body looks. I would do it if the money was better and worth my time. There are many beautiful ladies on the site. Which only causes my gender dysphoria to be greater, but it is nice when they say I’m good looking. Most of the time I don’t believe them and are just saying that to be nice.

Retirement Came Through

My retirement payment came through last week along with about eleven months worth of back pay. It is nice not to have to worry about money any longer. My regular retirement should be kicking in for the first of each month.

I’m going to be using some of it to resurrect my Pink Fae Gaming site. I couldn’t get my old url so I got a different one pinkfae.org. I’m going to hire a lawyer this time to try to make it into a non-profit once I get the old website migrated to the new website. It is taking a lot more work than I anticipated, so it is coming along very slowly.

I also donated some money to Tazkabaz so that she can get a new computer and maybe start streaming again. She already ordered her new PC and it should be coming in the mail for her sometime this week. I’m excited for her. It is almost like I bought a PC for myself.

Unexpected Money

I received a deposit into my account from the Federal Government. It appears that it was from my TSP (Thrift Savings Plan, similar to a 401k). I’m not sure exactly what it was for, but I’m not going to complain about it. It is enough to cover for two months of expenses, but not enough to pay back my parents.

I also got some information about the processing of my retirement in the mail. They had me sign a form I forgot to sign. Although, they did inform me about this about a month ago. I completed and sent it in then. I’m hoping they get it this time. I usually send mail to them certified, but I didn’t have money for it at the time.

I also got news that the premiums on my health insurance that I have been pay for the past year now will be reimbursed. That’s some good news. Especially since I need the health insurance for my medical condition.

I’m one to always hand out to those in need when I’m doing well off. Helping others is part of the reason why I got into working with SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). It is good to know that the karma that I have been building up is finally coming back to me in my time of need.

Here’s hoping that my retirement income kicks in before this money is also depleted.

Stuck in Financial Hell, Please Help

I’m really stuck in a bad place in a bad place right now. I already received money from my parents and they can’t help me out any longer. I couldn’t get any money out of my 401k and I couldn’t get a personal loan. I need $6000-$9000 to cover expenses (mortgage, insurance premiums, food, utilities) until my disability retirement kicks in three months from now. Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated, even a retweet or a share. You can find my paypal here.

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