A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Month: August 2022

Lavaliere of Carnim: Chapter 1: The Mirror of Galadriel

Pinkfae gazing into the Mirror of Galadriel

Haldir opened the gate and ushered Pinkfae inside the Garden of Galadriel. Although Pinkfae has spent her entire life in Lothlórien, it was the first time she has ever been allowed inside of the Lady’s garden. She knew about Galadriel’s Mirror, it was common knowledge among all of the Galadhrim, but she was not among the few permitted to peer into it. She can remember times spent up in the trees looking down into the garden and dreaming, wondering, what the mirror might show her.

Pinkfae looked over her shoulder as she slowly made her way inside the garden. She seemed doubtful that she was actually given permission to be inside of the sacred place. Haldir nodded his head slightly and gave a soft smile reassuring her that she could enter. Pinkfae looked back towards the garden and noticed the Lady standing near the Mirror. With her uncertainty gone and replaced with a sense of hope, she quickened her pace.

“Pinkfae Neilikka,” Lady Galadriel said as she approached. “I thought you and your family were making the journey to the west.” Pinkfae began to grow nervous. She couldn’t look directly into the eyes of the Lady. Instead her eyes wandered around the garden, the flowers, the walkway and the Mirror. “I’m sorry,” Pinkfae replied with a faint whisper.

“There is no need to apologize,” Lady Galadriel said with reassurance in her voice. “I knew that this path would lie before you long before Celeborn issued the evacuation. There have been many other refugees that did not set sail. Their hearts are still here in Middle-earth and no words can be uttered to sway them from it.”

“But, my Lady, what is it you and the Lord are trying to protect us from? Lothlórien has not changed at all.”

“No, it hasn’t, not yet. Already Orcs and Goblins have been infesting the surrounding forests.” She paused briefly, studying Pinkfae’s eyes. “Do you think that Haldir escorted you here so that you could find my garden? It was to protect you from being ambushed by the Servants of the Eye.”

“With all due respect, my Lady,” Pinkfae responded. “I can handle myself. I’m not a simple farmer’s daughter any longer.”

Lady Galadriel smiled at her and place her hand upon her shoulder. This caused a shiver to run up and down Pinkfae’s spine. Not out of fear, but out of love. She felt like a young girl being touched for the first time by the boy that she had a crush on.

“I have been watching you for a long time,” the Lady said. “And I have no doubts that you can defend yourself. All of the lore that you have learned over the past few centuries you have been putting to good use. It gladdens me that you along with many other Galadhrim have discovered the strength to overcome the minions of Morgoth.”

Galadriel lifted a white vase and slowly began to pour some water into the Mirror. The Mirror looked like a simple basin sitting on a pedestal slightly lower then waist high. With the surrounding garden the Mirror could be confused for a simple bird bath if someone didn’t know the powers of the Mirror.

“How long have you wanted to look into my Mirror?”

Lavaliere of Carnim

“Forever,” she was not sure why she replied, she knew the question was rhetorical. The Lady already knew the answer; she was practically omniscient.

“You have earned the right to gaze into it,” Galadriel said as the water settle down.

Pinkfae walked up towards the Mirror and peered inside. At first all she saw was her own reflection, but within a few seconds a shape began to appear. It was a Balrog and he was face to face with Mithrandir on a narrow stone bridge. Suddenly, the bridge collapsed and the two fell into the great chasm. The image shifted to the two fighting on The Endless Stair. Then it shifted again to the corpse of the Balrog laying on a snow covered mountain top. Near him was Mithrandir also laying in the snow, but his hand was slowing reaching out for Narya, the Ring of Fire. Then the image shifted to the hand of another, a dying Elf in a blackened waste land. His hand was reaching out for a lavaliere, a small pink emerald cut into the shape of a flower. Yet, the Elf was not able to grasp it before his spirit left his body. The image then faded away and the remaining water in the basin evaporated.

“I saw Mithrandir,” Pinkfae exclaimed. “He has slain Durin’s Bane. The Dwarves are free and safe in Hadhodrond at last! Yet, I saw something else, an Elf slain on a battlefield reaching for a necklace. It was a pink lily and looked exactly like the House of Carnim’s heraldic device. Do you know who that was?”

“It was your great-grandfather, Aegebed. He was slain during The Last Alliance of Elves and Men.”

“And the lavaliere? What was that?”

“It is the Lavaliere of Carnim.” Galadriel answered. “I know you have many other questions. The answers will come when you are ready to hear them.” Pinkfae was about to object, but she stopped herself. “I have ordered the guards to not let you inside of Caras Galahon until you have helped us prepare for our defense against the Orcs. I know you have done no wrong in turning back from your journey, but you will have to prove yourself with the other Galadhrim.”

Without any objection from Pinkfae, she was escorted outside of Lothlórien by Haldir.

Thinking of Getting Back Into Cycling

A woman cyclist taking a break.

Last month Paulina Cossio had a stream where she was showing some of the workout moves that she does. You can see the full video below. This stream really got me wanting to get back to working out. I use to workout frequently. It wasn’t too long ago before COVID hit us that I was going to Planet Fitness. I even had a trainer at one point of time. Getting back into it might be good for both my physical and mental health. What I use to love to do for physical activity that I haven’t done in a very long time was cycling.

I started picking up cycling seriously when I left the military. I found a used blue Ross Signature for sale. I think I paid $100 for it back in 1992 or 1993. I just changed out the seats and tuned it up myself. It worked just fine for general fitness. It wasn’t a good racing bike and was a little rough when I rode it for extended periods of times. Yet for the money that I spent on it, it was well worth it.

Yet, the bike is a bit out of date. I think if I want to get back into cycling I would want a new bike. I looked around at different cycling websites for a good inexpensive bike. I stumbled on the Eurobike XC550 on Amazon. It got some pretty decent reviews on Amazon and other sites. At $380 it is not going to be a racing bike at all, but it looked good for general exercise.

I couldn’t find my old bike rack, so I would have to get one of those if I wanted to travel somewhere to go cycling. I found this on Amazon. It is better than the one I use to have. I also don’t think I would have to use it right away.

Of course, I’ll need some clothing. I most have thrown out the cycling clothes I had when I purged a lot of my clothes years ago. I picked out some items that I would like to get, but I’m still looking around for good clothing at a reasonable price.

I also would like to get some accessories. I like to have a computer to keep track of my speed and distance. I found a wireless one manufactured by Cat Eye on Amazon. My old one was wired, it’d be nice to have one that is wired. I also want to get a mount on my bike for my iPhone. It would be good to use Google Maps to see where I am going. I found a mount by Roam on Amazon. It was very inexpensive.

I haven’t purchased anything yet, but I think the first thing I would purchase would be the bike itself. With my limited income I probably won’t have the funds to get it until next summer. I might even not be as hyped about cycling come a year from now.

There are a number of great trails to ride in Illinois. There is one trail that is about a mile or two from me that I could get on that connects to all of the trails in Illinois. When I lived with my parents in my early twenties, I once rode from their house to Lake Michigan and back. They live west of me and there isn’t a trail in their proximity. I had to take some back roads to get on one of the trails. It’d be nice to try to do that again. I just wonder if my old body can manage to do it, even after I trained myself.

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