KATHERINE WALTER dot COM

A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Author: Katherine Walter Page 5 of 9

Viewing Paulina Cossio on Twitch

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On July 11, 2022

In PauCossio

Paulina Cossio

I like to play Marbles on Stream from time to time when I’m on Twitch. On May 9, 2020 I was looking around for streamers to play the game with. One of the streamers that I happened to discover that day was a young lady with the username PauCossio. When you select a player’s marble to follow them on the track you can take a look at their profile. Along with various game stats such as total points, number of races, and so on you’re able to see their Twitch avatar. At the time my avatar was just a picture of myself. Pau saw the picture, complimented it and speculated that I was an actress. She won me over with her sweet flattery I immediately gave her a follow and stuck around until the end of the stream.

I’ve been watching her religiously every since then. She has been playing Marbles on Stream to start her streams and then plays Jackbox Games and some web-based games. She’s very much a community player. All of her games are games that the viewers can play along with her. She might not be amazing gamer, but she does has an amazing personality. She is very quick to laugh and she is an actress to boot. She is a partner with Streamloots, which a marketplace to buy real-time interactions with live streamers in the form of virtual cards. She has some cards you can obtain and play where she will do accents. I wish she had more cards where I can watch her perform her art. The majority of the cards are animated gifs of her dancing.

I’m known in her community (which she calls the PauFam) as the person that loves to ask her sexual questions. I never expect an answer to my questions. It is fun just to see her reaction to them. Yet, she has recently been getting more annoyed by them rather then shocked, so I refrain from doing that any longer. She is a lover of dad jokes. Telling her one will always get a groan or a laugh from her. If you get a chance, go on her Twitch channel and check her out. Tell her that PinkKatie sent you!

Sexuality and Live Jasmin

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On June 20, 2020

In sexuality

I’ve never been very secretive about my sexuality and sexual orientation. I use to be part of round table discussions about my sexuality and sexual orientation when I was part of Prism at Northern Illinois University a long time ago. This was all before I started to transition. Back then I called myself bisexual, I had feelings for both men and women. Then I just used the term homosexual since I had a strong preference for men. Then I used the phrase homofelezible, which seemed to fit me the best. I’m bisexual with more of an attraction towards men. After I began to realize that I am a woman and not a man, I started to call myself heteroflexible since I’m a woman attracted towards men. I usually just tell people I’m heterosexual because it is easier for people to understand over bisexual. It always seems like my heterosexual friends think I’m gay and my homosexual friends to think I’m straight. Of course since I transitioned it is the other way around. If I would be honest with myself and with others I would have to say I’m bisexual, with a two on the Kinsey scale.

I never wanted to be in a relationship before. I guess because I’ve always known that I am a woman and I didn’t want to have to reveal this to a partner. I think it is always best to be truth with your romantic partners. When I wanted to be sexually active with someone most of the time I went to Steamworks. After I transitioned I stopped going there and went to the TgirlNightCLUB. I have only been there a few times and not any longer thanks to COVID-19. I use to be one of the few, if not the only, transsexual there. The men use to swarm around me when I went there.

I have been going to Live Jasmin to chat with some of the ladies on there. I usually don’t ask for them to do anything sexual since non-contact sexuality doesn’t do anything to me. Even watching porn doesn’t do anything for me like it use to before I transitioned. I especially like to talk to Diana Dagorall and Alis Evanss. Like I said, I just mainly chat with them. It can be an expensive habit if you don’t watch yourself. It ate through my back pay that I got. Although paying off my trustee also took a lot of that money. The site isn’t too bad towards their members. About every fifteen hours or so you can spin a wheel and possibly get up to 100% more credits for the tier you are buying at. I never did land on 100% but I once did get a 90%. Most of the time it lands somewhere between 45% to 55%. I think it has a terrible pay out system for the ones providing the services. They only make 30% to 60% of what they are charging. The rest goes to Live Jasmin. I personally would like to see the models get a larger cut than what they are giving them. They do take a little cut from the member side as well, but it is nowhere near as bad as what they do to the models.

I like to go into VIP shows. This is where the model will do a little show for five or six minutes with a charge to each member (usually about two credits) to reach a goal to start the show. I like them because I just love to watch what the guys have to say during the show. They say the usual stuff you would think they would say. Even in the public chat room the guys can be kind of creepy. I usually like to tell the model that I’m a cisgender woman. I just want to be thought of a woman and not just a transgender. Yet, there have been a few that I have told that I’m a transgender woman. I never had any problems. I guess they’re not going to turn away a paying member.

I think Live Jasmin is worth a shot to look at. If you want to be a model I’m not so sure, since I don’t see that side of things. Models can see more information about their side of the camera here. Like I said, I don’t get anything sexual out of it since I’m more attracted to guys. They do have a gay guy side to the site, along with a section for transgender women. Being a webcam girl wouldn’t be the life for me. For one thing I have gender dysphoria and don’t like how my body looks. I would do it if the money was better and worth my time. There are many beautiful ladies on the site. Which only causes my gender dysphoria to be greater, but it is nice when they say I’m good looking. Most of the time I don’t believe them and are just saying that to be nice.

Living Through the Coronavirus

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On May 10, 2020

In current events

A lot of shit has been happening since the last time I posted on here. First off, happy Mothers’ Day to all the mothers out there. I sent my mother a gift card to Amazon. It was done digitally, but she hasn’t picked it up yet. They have limited access to the internet. She’ll get it sooner or later.

March 17th marked my fiftieth birthday. This milestone still blows my mind. Frankly, I never expected to live this long. Yet, now that I’m at that age, it doesn’t seem like I’m as old as I thought I was going to be.

February marked the sixth year that I went on HRT. I still have no regrets about it. If  I had to say one thing about it, I wish I started sooner in my life. Yet, I know that if I came out when I was fifteen that my parents’ wouldn’t understand or support me. At least, that is what I thought at that point in my life. Then when I was out on my own, I didn’t want to do it because I thought that I would never be able to find a job. Actually, that still haunts me since I lost my job with the Federal Government.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. The elephant in the room is the coronavirus going around. I think it is crazy. I never thought that I’d live to see a pandemic such as this one. I’ve been in quarantine for about a week after my birthday. I have been out to get my car fixed, but for the most part I haven’t been out at all.  Thanks to my agoraphobia it hasn’t been affecting my mental health at all. Of course, it isn’t helping matters either. I’ve been seeing my therapist virtually. It is cam-to-cam so we can see each other.

The Trump administration isn’t helping us out either. He said some pretty dumb stuff early on and currently. First he thought it was a hoax made up by the Democratic Party. Then he said we are nearly zero. Then it was a good job if it just killed off two hundred thousand people. Not too long ago he thought it made no sense to test for the virus since one day you can have it and then the next day you do have it. Don’t even get me started on him saying that injecting or digesting disinfectants can cure you of the virus. I wish he would just step down and let the scientists take over.

Joe Biden wasn’t my first pick for the front runner for the Democratic Party’s bid for the Presidency. I was behind Kamala Harris before she dropped out. She’s done a lot for the LGBT community during her time as Attorney General of California. Sure there was that one time she ruled in favor of transgender women inmates being in men’s facilities, but I think she answered the question well when she was at the HRC debates. I do think she wasn’t the most liberal candidate on the ticket. I think she just sways with the times. Many politicians included Obama were more centralist in their viewpoints. Yet, I am backing Joe Biden for 2020.

Retirement Came Through

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On February 25, 2020

In financies

My retirement payment came through last week along with about eleven months worth of back pay. It is nice not to have to worry about money any longer. My regular retirement should be kicking in for the first of each month.

I’m going to be using some of it to resurrect my Pink Fae Gaming site. I couldn’t get my old url so I got a different one pinkfae.org. I’m going to hire a lawyer this time to try to make it into a non-profit once I get the old website migrated to the new website. It is taking a lot more work than I anticipated, so it is coming along very slowly.

I also donated some money to Tazkabaz so that she can get a new computer and maybe start streaming again. She already ordered her new PC and it should be coming in the mail for her sometime this week. I’m excited for her. It is almost like I bought a PC for myself.

Best of Clips for Tazkabaz

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On February 9, 2020

In Tazkabaz

Tazkabaz made a best of clips from her Twitch videos that she shared with everyone today. She is currently on hiatus with no idea if and when she is coming back. She posted on Discord about her future with Twitch.

It is with a heavy heart that I say that Aaron and I have broken up. There will be no more streams for the foreseeable future and I will no longer be able to play sims or on the minecraft server so will stop payments before the server renews this month. Thank you all for your kindness and generosity over my time on Twitch. I ask that you please respect both of our privacy at this time.

Tazkabaz, Wednesday February 5, 2020

It has been an honor to be her moderator for the past year or so. We had a lot of fun together. The community of regular viewers were always a joy to chat and be with. I’m hopeful she will come back sometime in the future. Yet, if not, I won’t forget the joy that she gave me in my life when I was feeling down. Best of luck, Tazkabaz, where ever life might take you.

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