A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

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Unapologetically Sexual

I was let go from my student teaching position because of some tweets. In these posts, I said, among other things, “I like to suck dick.” It wasn’t part of a curriculum. It wasn’t aimed at students. It was a personal expression—raw, queer, unapologetic. And for that, I was deemed “unfit.”

But I am not ashamed. Because when I say something as simple and carnal as “I like to suck dick,” I’m not being obscene—I’m declaring war on the suffocating norms that define who gets to express desire and how.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t just about sex. It’s about power.

The phrase “I like sex” is broadly acceptable when said by a cis, straight man. Even when women say it, it must be delivered with just the right balance of flirtation and modesty, wrapped in acceptable femininity. But when a transgender woman like me speaks directly and honestly about her sexuality—without euphemism, without apology—it’s treated as taboo. It becomes scandalous, political, dangerous.

And that’s exactly why I say it.

Heteronormativity doesn’t just regulate bodies—it polices desire. It dictates what kind of sex is real, what kind of sex is dirty, and which voices are allowed to claim desire at all. Trans women are often reduced to caricatures: hypersexual porn tropes or sexless tokens of pity. To say, plainly and proudly, that I love sucking dick is to reject all of that. It’s to assert my autonomy, my pleasure, and my humanity.

Yes, I am a transgender woman. Yes, I am sexual. And yes, I will speak about it.

My words weren’t unprofessional. They were inconvenient—to a system that still finds trans joy threatening and trans pleasure unspeakable. I lost a role in education for telling the truth about myself. But I gained something else: clarity. I know now that empowerment doesn’t come from fitting in. It comes from taking up space. From naming what you’re told to hide. From loving your body and your voice enough to say what they told you you shouldn’t even feel.

So I will continue to speak freely. Not because I want to provoke—but because I refuse to be erased. I want other trans women to know that they can be intelligent, nurturing, sexual, kinky, loud, soft, and bold—all at once. I want us all to know that our worth doesn’t shrink because someone else is uncomfortable with our truths.

When I say “I like to suck dick,” I’m not just being honest.

I’m being powerful.

And in a world built to silence women like me, that is revolutionary.

The Criminalization of Transgender Identity

In recent years, a troubling trend has emerged across the United States: the introduction and enactment of laws that effectively criminalize aspects of being transgender. These laws go beyond limiting access to medical care or restricting participation in public life; they represent a broader effort to marginalize and erase transgender individuals.

While Illinois has upheld legal protections for transgender individuals, the national wave of anti-trans legislation is deeply concerning. These laws do not only harm those living in conservative states but also create ripple effects that extend nationwide, even reaching those in progressive areas. The increasing criminalization of transgender identity threatens fundamental civil rights, healthcare access, and the ability of transgender people to live openly and safely.

State legislatures across the country have introduced and, in some cases, passed extreme laws targeting transgender identity and gender-affirming care. Some states have proposed criminalizing transgender people for identifying as a gender different from what was assigned at birth, labeling this as fraud and imposing severe legal penalties. Others have removed gender identity from anti-discrimination protections, allowing increased discrimination against transgender individuals in employment, housing, and public services. Laws have also been passed that restrict or even ban access to gender-affirming medical care, not only for minors but in some cases for adults as well.

At the federal level, executive orders and policy changes have further undermined transgender rights. Government efforts to redefine gender strictly based on biological sex have effectively stripped transgender individuals of legal recognition in various federally funded programs. Funding for gender-affirming healthcare has also been targeted, making it more difficult for transgender individuals to access essential medical services, even in states that support such care. These measures reinforce discrimination at a national level and create a legal environment where transgender people are increasingly marginalized.

For those living in states like Illinois, where transgender rights are legally protected, it may seem as though these laws will not have an impact. However, the reality is far more complex. Federal policies can override state protections, particularly when it comes to funding for healthcare programs. Clinics that provide gender-affirming care may struggle to maintain services if federal funding is restricted. Additionally, the growing number of transgender individuals fleeing hostile states in search of healthcare and safety could place a strain on resources in states that offer protection.

Beyond the legal and healthcare implications, the rise of anti-trans legislation contributes to a culture of hostility and discrimination. Even in states with protective laws, the national conversation around transgender rights affects public attitudes, often leading to increased discrimination, workplace bias, and violence against transgender people. Hate crimes targeting transgender individuals have been on the rise, fueled by rhetoric that paints them as threats rather than human beings deserving of dignity and respect. Traveling becomes riskier for transgender people, as neighboring states with restrictive laws create environments where something as simple as using a public restroom or presenting as one’s authentic self could lead to harassment, arrest, or violence.

As a transgender woman living in Illinois, the inconsistency of protections across different states creates a constant sense of uncertainty. Rights that are protected in one place can disappear the moment state lines are crossed. The ability to live freely and without fear should not be dependent on geography, yet that is the reality that many transgender people face. Even in a progressive state, the fear of national policy changes and the emboldening of anti-trans sentiment weighs heavily on daily life.

The economic and social consequences of these laws extend beyond the transgender community. Businesses are pulling events and operations from states that pass extreme anti-trans laws, leading to financial losses. Universities in these states are seeing declines in applications from LGBTQ+ students, affecting campus diversity. If the spread of these laws continues, even states that have supported transgender rights may face political pressure to conform to restrictive national policies.

At its core, the push to criminalize transgender identity is a moral and ethical crisis. These laws deny transgender people their dignity, autonomy, and basic human rights. The argument that such laws are meant to protect children or uphold traditional values is nothing more than a justification for discrimination. Medical professionals overwhelmingly agree that gender-affirming care is essential and life-saving. The refusal to recognize transgender identities and the restriction of medical care only lead to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide among transgender individuals. These laws are not about protecting anyone—they are about controlling and erasing a marginalized group.

The continued expansion of anti-trans laws should concern everyone, not just those directly affected. When governments begin rolling back rights for one group, history has shown that other marginalized communities will soon be targeted. Today, transgender people face the brunt of these attacks, but tomorrow, it could be anyone whose identity or autonomy does not align with the political agenda of those in power. If these laws are allowed to stand, they will embolden further government overreach into personal identity, medical autonomy, and individual freedoms.

Addressing this crisis requires action. Elections matter, and voting for candidates who support transgender rights is crucial at every level of government. Legal challenges to these laws are ongoing, and organizations fighting for transgender rights need support. Social advocacy is also critical—challenging anti-trans rhetoric, educating others, and standing up for transgender individuals in everyday life all contribute to pushing back against this wave of discrimination. Protecting the most vulnerable members of the transgender community is essential, whether through direct financial support, providing safe spaces, or amplifying their voices.

The criminalization of transgender identity is not about safety or protecting society—it is about control. The ability to live as one’s authentic self should never be a political debate. No one should have to fear losing their rights, their healthcare, or their safety simply for existing. This fight is about human dignity, and it is one that cannot be ignored.

Choosing Courage: A Reflection on Governor Pritzker’s Address

In his recent State of the State address, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker delivered a powerful critique of the Trump administration, drawing sobering parallels to the rise of authoritarian regimes throughout history. His words, rooted in both his Jewish heritage and his work with the Illinois Holocaust Museum, serve as a stark reminder of how easily democracy can be dismantled when fear, hate, and blame are allowed to take root. As a transgender woman living in America today, Pritzker’s address resonated with me on a deeply personal level.

Governor Pritzker highlighted the ways authoritarian leaders scapegoat marginalized communities—immigrants, LGBTQ+ individuals, people of color, and women—to sow division and consolidate power. This rhetoric is not abstract to me; it is a reality that has shaped my life and identity. Growing up, I was acutely aware of the social stigma surrounding my identity. Even after transitioning, I’ve encountered moments where prejudice and misunderstanding threatened my sense of safety and belonging. Pritzker’s words brought back memories of navigating a world that often seeks to erase people like me, reinforcing the importance of standing firm in the face of fear and ignorance.

Pritzker’s reference to the Nazis’ attempt to march in Skokie in 1978 is a chilling reminder that hate does not disappear—it waits for an opportunity to resurface. His question—“After we’ve discriminated against, deported, or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people… what comes next?”—echoes my own concerns. I’ve witnessed how quickly negative rhetoric can escalate, especially when it targets vulnerable groups. This question resonates deeply because I know what it’s like to feel as though society is questioning your right to exist.

Yet, Governor Pritzker’s speech was not one of despair, but of defiance and hope. His words, “Tyranny requires your fear and your silence and your compliance. Democracy requires your courage,” speak to the resilience I’ve had to cultivate throughout my life. Coming out as transgender required courage, but advocating for my rights and the rights of others demands even more. Pritzker’s message reaffirmed my belief that silence is not an option—speaking up is essential to preserving both personal freedom and collective democracy.

The governor’s commitment to protecting Illinois residents from the harmful policies of the Trump administration is particularly meaningful to me. His support for affordable healthcare and inclusive education directly impacts my life. Access to gender-affirming healthcare has been crucial to my well-being, and knowing that Illinois prioritizes these services makes me feel more secure. Similarly, the proposed Prescription Drug Affordability Act and expanded mental health services will provide essential support for many in the transgender community who face barriers to care.

Pritzker’s reflection on reciting the oath of office on Abraham Lincoln’s Bible highlights the responsibility leaders have to defend democracy. His refusal to “bend the knee” to authoritarianism aligns with my own determination to live authentically despite societal pressure to conform. I’ve experienced both discrimination and acceptance, and I understand the power of allies who stand up for marginalized communities. Knowing that Illinois has a governor who openly supports LGBTQ+ rights gives me hope that progress is possible, even in challenging times.

History has shown us that silence in the face of injustice allows hatred to thrive. As Governor Pritzker reminded us, it took the Nazis less than two months to dismantle a constitutional republic. We cannot afford to wait until it is too late. His story of the 20 Nazis who marched in Chicago and the 2,000 Illinoisans who came to counter-protest illustrates the power of collective action. Their courage smothered the embers of hate before they could ignite into a wildfire. This serves as a powerful reminder that everyday people have the power to shape the course of history.

For me, this is not just about politics—it is about my right to live, love, and thrive without fear. Governor Pritzker’s call to “gather your justice and humanity, Illinois” resonates deeply because I know firsthand what it means to fight for visibility and acceptance. I am committed to using my voice to advocate for those who cannot speak out and to stand in solidarity with anyone whose rights are threatened. History has taught us the dangers of silence, and I refuse to let fear dictate my future. In this moment, as authoritarianism looms on the horizon, I choose courage.

The National Park Service’s Erasure of Transgender History at Stonewall

The Stonewall National Monument sign is seen as people protest outside the Stonewall Inn in New York, the scene of riots against police raids on the gay bar in 1969, on February 14, 2025, after the word transgender was erased from the National Park Service’s webpage about the riots. (Photo by Kena betancur / AFP) (Photo by KENA BETANCUR/AFP via Getty Images)

In a move that has sparked widespread controversy, the National Park Service (NPS) has removed references to “transgender” individuals and the “T” from the LGBTQ+ acronym on its Stonewall National Monument webpage. This action is widely viewed as an attempt to erase the significant contributions of transgender individuals to LGBTQ+ history, particularly their pivotal role in the 1969 Stonewall Riots.

Established in 2016 by President Barack Obama, the Stonewall National Monument commemorates the 1969 uprising at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, a key event that catalyzed the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement. The monument serves as a historical reminder of the struggle for equality and the continued fight against discrimination (National Park Service, n.d.).

On February 13, 2025, the NPS updated the Stonewall National Monument webpage, removing the term “transgender” and altering the acronym from “LGBTQ+” to “LGB.” This change is aligned with previous federal policies that have sought to define gender strictly as male or female, excluding recognition of transgender identities (The Guardian, 2025). Critics argue that such historical revisionism distorts the reality of past events and undermines the contributions of transgender activists who played a crucial role in the Stonewall Riots (Reuters, 2025).

The decision has been met with widespread backlash from LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, historians, and public officials. Stacy Lentz, co-owner of the Stonewall Inn and an outspoken LGBTQ+ rights advocate, condemned the move, stating that it dishonors the trans community’s role in the struggle for equality (Reuters, 2025). New York Governor Kathy Hochul also criticized the change, calling it “cruel and petty” and emphasizing that New York would not allow transgender individuals’ contributions to be erased (The Guardian, 2025).

Protests have erupted at the Stonewall National Monument, with activists demanding the restoration of the original language that included transgender individuals (CBS News, 2025). Advocates argue that the removal of transgender references is part of a broader effort to marginalize the trans community and erase its historical presence in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights (NBC News, 2025).

Transgender individuals played a significant role in the Stonewall Riots. Marsha P. Johnson, a Black transgender woman, and Sylvia Rivera, a Latina transgender woman, were among the most prominent figures in the uprising. Both later co-founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR), an organization dedicated to providing shelter and resources for homeless transgender youth (Asbury Park Press, 2025).

Eyewitness accounts and historical records confirm that transgender individuals were at the forefront of the resistance against police oppression during the raid on the Stonewall Inn in June 1969. Their defiance and activism ignited a movement that has since fought for LGBTQ+ rights across the nation (The New York Times, 2025).

The erasure of transgender history from the Stonewall National Monument is not just a symbolic act—it has real consequences. Historical revisionism that excludes transgender individuals contributes to their continued marginalization and reinforces narratives that deny their existence and struggles. Recognizing the full scope of LGBTQ+ history, including the vital role of transgender people, is essential in ensuring a future where all identities are acknowledged and respected.

LGBTQ+ advocates and historians have called for the National Park Service to restore the original language that included transgender individuals. Preserving the integrity of history is not just about honoring those who fought in the past; it is about ensuring that future generations understand the full truth of the LGBTQ+ rights movement.

References

ABC News. (2025, February 13). Transgender references removed from Stonewall National Monument website. https://abcnews.go.com/US/transgender-references-removed-stonewall-national-monument-website/story?id=118804553

Asbury Park Press. (2025, February 18). Black transgender NJ woman led the Stonewall Uprising. Now her family fights for her. https://www.app.com/story/news/2025/02/18/black-trans-nj-woman-marsha-p-johnson-led-stonewall-uprising/78964198007

CBS News. (2025, February 14). Protests at Stonewall National Monument after “LGBTQ” changed to “LGB” on website. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/stonewall-national-monument-protest-trans-queer-references-removed

NBC News. (2025, February 14). References to transgender and queer removed from Stonewall National Monument’s web page. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/references-transgender-queer-removed-stonewall-national-monuments-web-page-n1234567

National Park Service. (n.d.). Stonewall National Monument. https://www.nps.gov/ston/index.htm

The Guardian. (2025, February 13). US park service erases references to trans people from Stonewall monument website. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/13/stonewall-website-transgender

The New York Times. (2025, February 13). U.S. Park Service strikes transgender references from Stonewall website. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/13/us/stonewall-national-monument-transgender.html

The Washington Post. (2025, February 14). National Park Service removes transgender references from Stonewall monument website. https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/stonewall-monument-transgender-references-removed/2025/02/14/abc123def456

Reuters. (2025, February 14). Trump erasure of transgender references extends to Stonewall monument website. https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-erasure-transgender-references-extends-stonewall-monument-website-2025-02-14/

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