A MidWestern transgender woman trying to survive in the real life.

Category: writing

The Challenges of Funding a Passion Project

There’s something both thrilling and terrifying about trying to bring a dream to life—especially when that dream involves starting your own business. For me, it’s a deeply personal and creative endeavor, one rooted in storytelling, artistry, and adult-themed gaming content. I’ve spent years imagining what this project could become. I’ve laid out sourcebooks, sketched out mechanics, worldbuilding lore, and even envisioned the types of illustrations that would bring it all to life. But as with so many creative projects, the vision is the easy part. The real challenge? Funding.

Starting a business from scratch isn’t just about passion. It’s about resources. And when you’re bootstrapping, every decision becomes a balance between what’s necessary and what’s possible. I’ve had to navigate not only the costs of creating a product—writing, editing, illustration, marketing—but also the costs of forming the business itself: registration fees, professional services, and a platform to actually share the work.

There’s this common idea that if you’re determined and the project is good enough, the money will follow. But that’s not the reality for most of us. Grants and loans tend to favor more conventional ventures. Crowdfunding is a gamble that requires a large and active fanbase before you even launch. And personal savings? That can only stretch so far before you’re making choices between paying for groceries or commissioning another piece of art.

Every step of the way, I’ve asked myself whether it’s worth it. Whether I’m chasing something too niche, too risky, too outside the mainstream. But I keep coming back to the same answer: yes, it is worth it. Not because it’s easy, but because it speaks to something I believe in. I want to create spaces where people feel seen, where fantasy and identity can meet in authentic and affirming ways.

I’m still in the early stages—lining up my structure, scouting for collaborators, and planning out ways to generate steady content. I’ve committed to using a monthly subscription platform to slowly build a following and earn enough to commission the assets I need. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. But it’s mine.

If you’re also in the middle of starting something big with not enough money and a heart full of hope, I see you. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. But it’s not impossible.

We create because we must—and we fight to build something lasting because someone out there is waiting to see what only we can offer.

AI in Writing: A Human-Powered Revolution

Artificial Intelligence has become a prominent tool in the world of writing—but its role is often misunderstood. While some fear that AI is replacing human authorship, the truth is more nuanced and far more collaborative. AI doesn’t write on its own. It generates content by analyzing and reproducing patterns found in the vast body of human-created text it has been trained on. In short, AI is not a replacement for writers—it is built on the work of writers.

At its core, AI is a reflection of our collective human expression. It is trained on books, articles, websites, essays, and more—all created by people. These texts, written by countless authors across generations, provide the foundation for AI’s ability to suggest phrases, draft emails, refine prose, or even brainstorm plot points. Every time you receive a smart autocomplete suggestion or grammar correction, you are interacting with the legacy of human creativity filtered through a machine learning model.

But AI in writing is not new. Writers have relied on technology to support their process for decades. Spellcheck, grammar tools, and page formatting software have long been essential parts of digital writing. The difference now is scale and complexity. Today’s AI can assist with voice, tone, structure, and even creative ideation. These tools can be invaluable in helping writers overcome blocks, refine their arguments, or experiment with new forms of expression. However, the intention, insight, and emotional truth of a piece still come from the human behind the keyboard.

Understanding this partnership is crucial. Writers using AI are not outsourcing their voice—they are shaping and guiding it. They remain the editors, curators, and final decision-makers. AI might suggest, but it cannot feel. It might compose, but it cannot reflect. It may write, but it does not understand.

In the end, AI in writing is best seen not as a threat, but as a tool—a powerful one, yes, but still dependent on human wisdom and creativity. It enhances the writing process the same way word processors did when they replaced typewriters. What matters most is not the tool, but the hand that wields it.

Lavaliere of Carnim: Chapter 2: The Power of Flowers

Pinkfae’s reunion with her friend Tuilinn.

“Pinkfae, is that really you?” a female Elf stopped suddenly in her tracks in amazement.

Without saying a word, Pink hugged her friend. “Yes,” she answered as they released from their embrace. “I didn’t get on the boat to sail to Aman.”

“You’re not the only one,” Tuilinn stated. “There are many others who didn’t make the journey as well. I was just on my way to Cerin Amroth to pick the flowers that grow there. I thought I would make a bouquet and bring them to our kin defending the boarders. Would you like to help?”

“Certainly,” Pinkfae said as the two continued down the path towards a great mound covered with flowers. There was a lone, ancient tree on top of the hill. It was so beautiful that it almost seemed artificial. “Lady Galadriel wanted me to help those fighting back the Orc invasion. Bringing them objects of beauty will certainly help in restoring their mental state.”

“It will also remind them what it is that they are fighting for,” Tuilinn added.

The two of them reached the hill and could smell the sweet scent of the pale colored flowers. Cerin Amroth was a popular place for the Galadhrim to meditate and relax. There were a few Elves relaxing on the side of the hill and undoubtedly there were also some up in the flet enjoying the breeze that brings the scent up there as well.

Tuilinn began to pick some of the Elanor while Pinkfae picked some of the Niphredil. After they each had a dozen of each type of flower they arranged them into a bouquet. All of Pinkfae’s life she longed to leave Lothlórien and explore the world outside. Over the course of the past few months she has seen and experienced more then she has during the past two thousand years. Yet, it wasn’t until now that she realized just how much she missed her homeland.

After the flowers were arranged the two headed off to Imlad Lalaith. There Maliriel, the feast-mistress, was holding a great banquet for the many guests that were entering Lothlórien, something that hasn’t happened in many centuries.

“Tuilinn,” Maliriel exclaimed as she saw the two of them. “Did you come to join us?”

Tuilinn shook her head, “no, we came bring flowers to help brighten the banquet.”

“Oh!” Maliriel said as she took the flowers. “Thank you. These only grow in our lands, I’m sure our guests will be pleased to see them.” She went over to the banquet table and placed them in a vase.

She stepped back and looked at the flowers sitting among the food and wine already sitting on the table. “A festival in Lothlórien without flowers is like a festival in Rohan without horses.” She turned to face Pinkfae, acknowledging her there for the first time, “in fact Pink’s heraldic device is a pink lily. Even though there are none that grow here in Lothlórien. You know, I have always wondered why your House used a lily on its heraldic device. Many of the Houses use flowers that are native to our land. It is very unusual.”

There was a brief pause as Maliriel waited for an explanation. Pinkfae finally gave in and admitted with a shrug that she didn’t know.

“You mean in all of your studies in lore, you never looked into the lore of your House?” Maliriel asked with a hint of shock in her voice. Ancestral lore was very important to many Elves; even those who were not lore-masters knew the histories of their own House.

“Pink was always more interested in the world outside of Lothlórien,” Tuilinn interjected.

“Its true,” Pinkfae acknowledged with some sadness in her voice. “They always say that you don’t know what you have until you lose it. I’ve seen many lands since I left, but nothing is fairer then Lothlórien.”

A field of Niphredil growing at Cerin Amroth in Lothlórien.

Pinkfae and Tuilinn got off their horses at the Elven camp Echad Andestel west of the river. There they met with Ambendel. “What brings you out here so, Tuilinn?” the Elven woman asked.

“We bring gifts to brighten the hearts of the Galadhrim defending our boarders,” she answered, show her the bouquet of wild flowers.

Ambendel smiled brightly as she accepted the gift. “Thank you, Tuilinn. I’m sure your gift will brighten the hearts of Elves, Dwarves, Men and Hobbits alike.”

“Men and Hobbits?” Tuilinn asked quizzically.

Ambendel nodded her head. “There have been many Free Peoples coming out of the gates of Moria as of late and not just Elves and Dwarves. It seems that the Iron Garrison have been able to secure Moria from the Servants of the Enemy.”

“There is still much work to be done,” answered Pinkfae. “Although the Dwarves have been able to secure the Twenty-first Hall, the Orcs have not all been driven out.”

“The Orcs that have been retreating out of Moria have established a number of camps west of here,” Ambendel stated. “The Dwarves’ progress has sent them closer to our doorstep. Thankfully the Free Peoples of Middle-earth have been able to contain them as well. Yet, the greater threat lies to the north-east of here. You should bring some of your flowers to Bahanneth, the quartermaster at Talan Fanuidhol. His people are guarding the largest camp of Orcs near Lothlórien.”

“Be well,” Tuilinn said getting into the saddle of her horse. “May victory be swift.”

“Stay safe, both of you,” Ambendel called out as the two rode off to Talan Fanuidhol.

Lavaliere of Carnim: Chapter 1: The Mirror of Galadriel

Pinkfae gazing into the Mirror of Galadriel

Haldir opened the gate and ushered Pinkfae inside the Garden of Galadriel. Although Pinkfae has spent her entire life in Lothlórien, it was the first time she has ever been allowed inside of the Lady’s garden. She knew about Galadriel’s Mirror, it was common knowledge among all of the Galadhrim, but she was not among the few permitted to peer into it. She can remember times spent up in the trees looking down into the garden and dreaming, wondering, what the mirror might show her.

Pinkfae looked over her shoulder as she slowly made her way inside the garden. She seemed doubtful that she was actually given permission to be inside of the sacred place. Haldir nodded his head slightly and gave a soft smile reassuring her that she could enter. Pinkfae looked back towards the garden and noticed the Lady standing near the Mirror. With her uncertainty gone and replaced with a sense of hope, she quickened her pace.

“Pinkfae Neilikka,” Lady Galadriel said as she approached. “I thought you and your family were making the journey to the west.” Pinkfae began to grow nervous. She couldn’t look directly into the eyes of the Lady. Instead her eyes wandered around the garden, the flowers, the walkway and the Mirror. “I’m sorry,” Pinkfae replied with a faint whisper.

“There is no need to apologize,” Lady Galadriel said with reassurance in her voice. “I knew that this path would lie before you long before Celeborn issued the evacuation. There have been many other refugees that did not set sail. Their hearts are still here in Middle-earth and no words can be uttered to sway them from it.”

“But, my Lady, what is it you and the Lord are trying to protect us from? Lothlórien has not changed at all.”

“No, it hasn’t, not yet. Already Orcs and Goblins have been infesting the surrounding forests.” She paused briefly, studying Pinkfae’s eyes. “Do you think that Haldir escorted you here so that you could find my garden? It was to protect you from being ambushed by the Servants of the Eye.”

“With all due respect, my Lady,” Pinkfae responded. “I can handle myself. I’m not a simple farmer’s daughter any longer.”

Lady Galadriel smiled at her and place her hand upon her shoulder. This caused a shiver to run up and down Pinkfae’s spine. Not out of fear, but out of love. She felt like a young girl being touched for the first time by the boy that she had a crush on.

“I have been watching you for a long time,” the Lady said. “And I have no doubts that you can defend yourself. All of the lore that you have learned over the past few centuries you have been putting to good use. It gladdens me that you along with many other Galadhrim have discovered the strength to overcome the minions of Morgoth.”

Galadriel lifted a white vase and slowly began to pour some water into the Mirror. The Mirror looked like a simple basin sitting on a pedestal slightly lower then waist high. With the surrounding garden the Mirror could be confused for a simple bird bath if someone didn’t know the powers of the Mirror.

“How long have you wanted to look into my Mirror?”

Lavaliere of Carnim

“Forever,” she was not sure why she replied, she knew the question was rhetorical. The Lady already knew the answer; she was practically omniscient.

“You have earned the right to gaze into it,” Galadriel said as the water settle down.

Pinkfae walked up towards the Mirror and peered inside. At first all she saw was her own reflection, but within a few seconds a shape began to appear. It was a Balrog and he was face to face with Mithrandir on a narrow stone bridge. Suddenly, the bridge collapsed and the two fell into the great chasm. The image shifted to the two fighting on The Endless Stair. Then it shifted again to the corpse of the Balrog laying on a snow covered mountain top. Near him was Mithrandir also laying in the snow, but his hand was slowing reaching out for Narya, the Ring of Fire. Then the image shifted to the hand of another, a dying Elf in a blackened waste land. His hand was reaching out for a lavaliere, a small pink emerald cut into the shape of a flower. Yet, the Elf was not able to grasp it before his spirit left his body. The image then faded away and the remaining water in the basin evaporated.

“I saw Mithrandir,” Pinkfae exclaimed. “He has slain Durin’s Bane. The Dwarves are free and safe in Hadhodrond at last! Yet, I saw something else, an Elf slain on a battlefield reaching for a necklace. It was a pink lily and looked exactly like the House of Carnim’s heraldic device. Do you know who that was?”

“It was your great-grandfather, Aegebed. He was slain during The Last Alliance of Elves and Men.”

“And the lavaliere? What was that?”

“It is the Lavaliere of Carnim.” Galadriel answered. “I know you have many other questions. The answers will come when you are ready to hear them.” Pinkfae was about to object, but she stopped herself. “I have ordered the guards to not let you inside of Caras Galahon until you have helped us prepare for our defense against the Orcs. I know you have done no wrong in turning back from your journey, but you will have to prove yourself with the other Galadhrim.”

Without any objection from Pinkfae, she was escorted outside of Lothlórien by Haldir.

A New Start

I started a blog a long time ago on this very site, but I never renewed the domain name. I thought that I would start it back up again and see how long I can maintain it. On here I will be talking about politics, sports and whatever else I might be thinking about. I don’t know where this will be taking me, but as they say a journey begins with a single step.

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