Katherine Walter, Author at KATHERINE WALTER dot COM

My Mental Health

On January 4, 2020

I suffer from some mental health issues. I had suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. Yet, it has gotten worse especially since I transitioned.

I went to see a therapist for my social anxiety. I use to ballroom dance and I was so anxious when I would preform in front of people. I never experienced a problem like this, but I gradually learned it was because I identify as a woman. Ballroom dancing is very gender specific and I knew there was something wrong with doing the steps and movement that were for men. I began Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) on February 2014 to have the physical appearance of being a woman.

I was feeling better once I started but I began to get very anxious of being clocked (viewed as being my wrong gender or of being transgender). I began to develop agoraphobia. I didn’t want to leave the house and run into people. I didn’t have a fear of leaving the house, but rather being around people, mainly because of my gender dysphoria.

I will talk more about my mental health in this blog. I’m currently in therapy now and I loss my job chiefly because of my mental health. I’m still unemployed but I hopeful that I will be getting disability retirement soon. I already got approved for being disabled, but I have not received any payment yet.

A New Start

By Katherine Walter

On December 29, 2019

In blog

I started a blog a long time ago on this very site, but I never renewed the domain name. I thought that I would start it back up again and see how long I can maintain it. On here I will be talking about politics, sports and whatever else I might be thinking about. I don’t know where this will be taking me, but as they say a journey begins with a single step.

I Am a Transfeminist

By Katherine Walter

On October 22, 2015

In feminism

I am a transfeminist, because transgender women are women.

I have viewed myself as a girl at a very early age. I was told that I am wrong that I was born a boy. I had to hide who I was. I believed the stories that were told to me that if I did accept that I was a women society would never accept me. I would be viewed as a freak and not be able to find a job.

In my early 20s I came out as bisexual, but soon after came out as a gay man. I rejected calling myself gay because I believed that meant I hated women. I learned this was not true when I befriended some gay men.

Coming out as a gay man did not help with my depression. There was suicide attempts and a self loathing. I knew something had to be done and I finally made the very hard decision to not only come out as a straight transgender woman but to begin the process of transitioning. It was the most difficult decision I ever made in my life but also the most rewarding.

As a transwoman, I have a unique perspective on society’s gender policing: girls do this and boys do that. I didn’t want for society to see me as a boy. I wanted society to see me as a girl. It was – and still is – to get society to use the correct pronouns when talking to me. I experience emotional violence and disrespect when some view me as the correct gender but eventually learn that I’m a transgender woman and they believe I am trying to fool them.

I am a transfeminist because I don’t want to see other women like me go through the same struggles that I have gone through.

Tolkien Birthday Toast 2015

By Katherine Walter

On January 3, 2015

In JRR Tolkien

When they had sung many songs, and talked of many things they had done together, they toasted Bilbo’s birthday, and they drank his health and Frodo’s together according to Frodo’s custom
The Fellowship of the Ring, Three is Company

After Bilbo Baggins left Bag End after his 111th birthday, Frodo Baggins gave a toast to his uncle on Bilbo and his uncle’s birthday. (They both shared the same birth date.) Samwise Gamgee carried on the tradition after Frodo and Bilbo made the trip to the Undying Lands. I would like to think that Frodo Gardner (the oldest son of Samwise and his wife Rose Cotton) continued the celebration as well.

The Tolkien Society carried on with this event, but did it on January third, J.R.R. Tolkien’s birthday. At nine o’clock your local time you raise your glass and say “The Professor!” and take a sip or swig of your beverage. Today is Tolkien’s twelvety-third birthday, a very queer number indeed, as Bilbo would have said.

I celebrated the day today alone with some of his writings and some rum.